the jingle:jangle morning

05 August 2009

the mad farmer liberation front

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

a guest blogeee? blogger? blogoid?

i had the privilege of sitting down with tommy adlard, fresno pacific graduate, boy scout danny drummer, easterby reading program associate and all-around studmuffin at the revue this week. the following is a snippet of our conversation

tommy, good to see you. what are you wrangling up these days?
how awkward is this. i was wrangling up some lifegroup and reading program today. also, picking up on my friend jordan. (full disclosure: i am that friend jordan)

lifegroup and reading program? sounds like your a busy guy. tell me about those projects.
lifegroup is a bible study run through the well community church here in fresno. we meet once a week for several hours and lately we've been discussing different worldviews and how they relate theologically with society. today, we chatted about different takes on liberation from evil. easterby reading program is a project based in southeast fresno that helps improve reading skills of elementary school children in the area and giving them access to positive role models. its a project jointly funded through the well and the fresno institute for urban leadership (FIFUL). today, we had an all-time high of 18 kids over, played a few games, read some books, got in a water fight and learned about not being stubborn. all in all, a solid day.

tommy, you spent some time studying in egypt. can you tell me one or two stories that really stood out that signified the importance of your time there?
hospitality stood out in egypt. they definitely have a much broader and greater understanding of the word than i've ever seen before. one night, i was walking back to my apartment in my galabaya (a muslim robe) and an old man invited me to sit and have a cup of tea with him. i wanted to head home but he insisting so i sat down. he only spoke arabic but luckily, i was able to have a half-hour conversation with him through the little arabic i had picked up. after our conversation, he asked me to walk him home. arm in arm, we walked home and i talked with him about the 5 pillars of islam. he kissed me on both cheeks twice and invited me to head to the mosque with him the next day. the next day, i met him at the mosque and this sweet, sweet elderly gentleman was ecstatic. we went to the service, prayed together and afterward, i overheard mentioning to a friend that i was an american and that i was muslim. he invited me back to his house, we had tea and i let him know that i was a christian, not muslim. i didn't really know the word for christian so it was a hoot trying to communicate what that meant to him. after that, he spent 3 hours trying to convince me to become a muslim. he explained that christians believe in 3 gods and muslims believe in 1. after a long discussion with plenty of hyperbolic hand gestures, i returned home. i never saw the man again but i saw a deep commitment to his religion and that his conversation with me was based out of a love for me. it shifted how i thought about evangelism and stressed the importance of action over words.

thats a great story......shifting topics, what bands are you currently listening to?
my current bands are breathe owl breathe, arcade fire, the dodos, bon iver and phoenix.

those are all pretty folksy bands. what draws you to that type of music?
its good.

your so ambiguous, tom. thanks for chatting.
your the best interviewer i've ever had. and the best lover.

a different gray

lets talk about some things.

first, jaydiohead be the freshest.

second, had a small roadie with my friend, who blogs over at guardian of the abyss. topics discussed included politics, shared anecdotes, and the unending abstract discussion on what it means to live in the valley we do, both literally and theologically, a place that can be unwelcoming and comfortable simultaneously. read unwelcoming=we both think differently on matters of faith, politics, community, belief, doubt than the infrastructures and subsequently the people we grew up with. the tension can be nagging; like an unwelcome thorn that gets stuck in your organic pair of Toms. it was refreshing to have an honest, open chat about the liminal space we both find ourselves in. read comfortable: places, rhythms, activities that give a sense of nostalgia, things and relationships that we don't want to let go of. those bits nearly make it worthwhile to live in this valley. nearly.

third, been rethinking, deconstructing, hashing out, ruminating on the vast proverbial horizon in front of me. to be completely honest and open, there seems to be little in the way of positive growth that can happen in this place at this time. i have applied to 35 jobs since moving back to fresno nearly a month ago and have had exactly 1 interview. 1. the situation lends itself to busting down the conventional methods and routines of plugging away at a monotonous occupation, living at home, eating parents' food and regurgitating the same awkward, slightly dishonest conversations with people who are pseudo-familiar. the rejection in the hometown has caused my sight to be shifted outwards, to places that are enchanting, romantic, adventurous, places on the margins, unconventional, ambiguous. this gives me hope; this is beautiful.

you can try to swim the sea but say goodbye to you and me.-avett brothers.x

01 July 2009

commitments and commandments

today, i decided that i would listen to only pre-1970s music for the next week. i must ween (wean? weed?) myself off of modern music and dive into the past. thus i am committing to only listen to johnny cash, bob dylan, the beatles, rolling stones. i'll take it.

also, read haggai tonight. cheers. +

j.x

30 June 2009

so heres the thing.....

apologies for my long absence from this space.

2 thoughts/topics

1. i just finished reading blue like jazz by don miller. right, i got to the party about 3-4 years too late but better late than later, i always say. its a solid read and to be honest, other people have probably done a far better job i could do at dissecting, analyzing, extracting the important bits. i particularly was struck by the chapter on money, the chapter on love and the chapter on jesus. they each kind of hung out together, met for a dinner party in my head with don at the front of the table, me sitting next to him, and love, jesus, and money sitting around the table as well. there is a certain sense that you get whilst you are experiencing something that is divine, that the Holy Spirit is speaking, showing up, starting to bond together the ideas of whats being communicated with the reality of your life. and that place, regardless of whether or not your conscious of it, is a brilliant place to be. a place of freedom, hope and forgiveness. don says at the end of the book that he enjoys jazz because it originated with the first generation to come out of slavery. it was a response to the freedom and liberation that came with being rid of oppression. and i really like that analogy. i'd like to have a song of freedom on my tongue because of the liberating, transforming, redemptive work of jesus. and maybe even do a little dance on that path.

2. been thinking quite a bit about the what i can do to enact transformative reality in my own life. it really all started when started reading rollins. whilst i realize that it starts and ends with jesus, there are definitely things i can do to put myself in a position to see changes and to grow in solidarity with others. and, to be honest, one of the greatest ways is how i spend my money. over the past 6 months since returning from england, i've realized there is an addiction, both on my part and the part of others my age, to a lifestyle that is literally unsustainable. we are addicted to a lifestyle that is fiscally irresponsible, intent on borrowing now and putting off payment to later, keeping up appearances, using possessions and experiences to fulfill the need for meaning in our lives. the byproduct of this is a world where the gap in wealth distribution is shockingly polarized. this isnt anything new. and to be honest, i've dealt with the guilt, shame, uneasiness of the situation and found myself as guilty as the next person. i mix love and money to create a weird, psuedo-aware, global perspective that keeps me in a place of moral superiority without giving up any of the comfort i am addicted to. because i understand and am aware of whats going on in afghanistan, rwanda, zimbabwe, i can claim to be globally sensitive to the needs of others. i can go off on how its ludicrous that the west, and in particular america, has decided that we are the most important people in the world, that we deserve all of the luxury and comfort that we can afford/receive. in principle, i am opposed to the inequality and injustice of the situation. and yet, i still engage in those comforts. i still am addicted to the little things, the perks that come with being american. and so, what to do? i'm not sure. and maybe thats ok. there has to be some stepping stone on this path, some bridge to a place that is pure and that honors other people before ourselves economically. in the meantime, i'll wander around the desert trying to find that bridge.